dearest god hello it’s me, touching myself, Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville And This Is How The Porno Ends, i’ve stopped touching myself to stand still in the centre of the room, in the centre of myself, in the centre of the macbook pro’s glow, dearest shawshank redemption, it’s me in the garden with a pro glow, dearest youtube videos of tarantino interviews, it’s me with a skateboard on my chest, dear kanye spaghetti western, hello it’s me picking blu tac off a door with other blu tac, Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville And This Is How Internet Porn Ruined My Life, dearest blu tac, blu tac me to the centre of a diagram of myself, without alligators biting my nipples i am annotated by arrows, text boxes, Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville And This Is Me Broken Into Textbook Drawings, dearest god hello it’s me touching myself while falling asleep, sometimes i get lonely and i touch my status update, too, Johnny K, my insides are two dimensional with a number at the bottom, centered, Johnny K, my stomach has its own stomach, the porno’s over, my stomach is dating another stomach online, musical porno, use text boxes with no fill and no outline, musical porno is not the same as porno music like still water is not the same as sparkling water, sparkling water yells, dearest stomach hello it’s me touching food porn, hi bebo it’s me on bebo snorkeling near the surface of a wheat silo, Mozart in porno soundtracks, dub step as a distress signal from my dog’s pacemaker, Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville And This Is Jack Kerouac Ass, the porno ends when i fart, i want to fart an icicle and prayer for a golden meteorite shower like the one that made emotionally stable diplodocuses extinct, hello hell i’m astrotravelling the back of my knee, i’m tiny when i astrotravel like honey, i shrunk the kids, i’m a wild animal involved in a savage country song, honey, i’m a bad singer, Hi I’m Jack Ass Kerouac And This Is Johnn Knox, goddammit, slam dunk your junk and keep our mega city mega, mate, i’m John Knoxville and this is John Marr of Smith fame, the milky way is a brand of chocolate and a brand of galaxy, myspace bulletin martini, dearest goose ghost, the porno is over here, Hi I Am Outside biting your comb’s teeth for i have attained absolutely stunning luck, pinch the whistle drown baton wipe the frame suck the fossil mop luck fix the sheet weld the soup, This Is How Internet Porn Wooed My Ghost, true identity versus wifi identity, the tell tale signs you’re damaged, my wifi identifies as a corn, my wifi is always searching for cornfields, my wifi identifies as a corn colonel, let’s scuba dive down to bebo, let’s go spearfishing with a bag of hashtags tied to our ankles, let’s touch modems, my wifi identifies as a tragic romantic, i caught my wireless router looking up internet corn, dear gods it’s me the milk moth, i am internally grateful and outwardly awful for this opportunity to be both moth and milk, Johnny Knoxville Rowling, JK Rowling, jk, dear goose ghost it’s me the silk moth, touching my furniture but not touching my landlord’s furniture, touching my dish but not my landlord’s microwave, hi i’m the silk cloth, John Knox, getting dry, why we’ve come here, knox, dearest porno the god is over, door knox, doors, dearest porngod the door is open, dearest nirvana i’m touching the centre of knocks, the doors, the doors or nirvana, i was a teenage dream eater, doorways capable of concentrating an individual’s body heat to the point of spontaneous human combustion or doorways capable of concentrating an individual’s body heat to the point of spontaneous human combustion but instead of bursting into flames dogs burst out of the human and create happiness for the courageous bystanders passing through the barn, google maps suggested i walk straight through your barn, johnny knocks, you ever use blu tac the same way as a stock cube, heat up blu tac and put it on my chips, johnknee knocks, suck that tentacle of blu tac out of its packet and spit it straight in my dinner, this is the stock cube in the centre of me, me standing on blue tooth fossils, crackers and blu tac make a nice snack, i’ll order a bread board with extra pastrami and extra blu tac, my friends will be here soon, i am always the first to admit my addiction to bread boards, john depp, catch me out the back surfing on my bread board, dropping in on my bread board, getting sucked over the falls on my bread board, john deep, awesome oars for the winning rowing team or oar-some awes for the winning rowing team, studies suggest people work hardest when carrying a canoe, carry your canoe home, i want to carry my canoe to your home, dearest kneegod the canoe is over my head, word porn knee porn nature porn grammar porn space porn cutting corn and watching porn, grammar nazi, waterfall porn, poetry porn, porno poem, eating food porn, John marr, feeling flirty spraying the television with squeeze bottle mustard, chortling farm-like, chortling centaur sharing a game of frisbee on the farm with another centaur, it’s time to fris the bee, tape rashers of bacon to a frisbee, you know what they say, fris the bee with me, canoe, carry your clinical canoe to the mustard on the television, project happy phlegm, i have an internet explorer tattoo on the back of your knee, canoeist, powerlines are the highest lines, doing the canoeist thing you can do, electricity travels to places we’ll never go, so do canoes, I’m Johnny Knoxville presently, willing to disconnect function and malfunction and magic, canoeist heart, sell the main parts in the shopping centre except the biological ones and the small piece which appreciates dreaming of domestic tasks such as washing dishes and cleaning your comb and resetting the wireless router, pull the plug out of the sink, if i only had a canoeist heart, drop a handful of coins in the sink, the tin man had no heart and a dick made out of tin, jesus, dearest tin jesus the porno is over, i stand still in the centre of the tin man, being johnny malkovich style, canoeist heart, being the tin man’s tin dick style, heinous penis, jesus, hi i’m mostly Johnny Knoxville and this is How You Carry Your Canoe Home